I’ve already shared my feelings on being still during hardships so I thought I would share this too. Recently at a soccer game, my baby was hurt. Before I go any further let me say that he is OKAY and back to being his normal tough self.
So there we were freezing our butts off in the pouring rain watching our boys leave it all out on the field. We were nearing the end of the game and the other team was trying to score when my boy tried to shut it down. To make a long story short he ended up on the ground with another kid falling on top of him and landing on his neck. I saw it, but it happened so quickly that it didn’t really register. After the play everyone went back to their positions to reset; everyone except my boy who was still slumped over on the ground and not moving. His goalie came out to check on him and quickly called the coach over. It was at that moment that the panic started to rise. After a minute the coach motioned for us. This isn’t my first rodeo and I know that when a boy sees his mama upset he gets upset and that is NOT good. So, I hung back waiting for a sign that he was okay. Instead of the sign I desperately needed they just leaned over him and continued to assess him. I couldn’t wait any longer. At first, I found it hard to move. I felt like my legs were stuck in mud and I remember thinking to myself that I needed to snap out of it. My baby needed me and I couldn’t be a mess. I remember asking God to protect my baby and to grant me the strength I needed to be there for him. And just like that, I felt it. No lie, my legs started moving and I was able to run to him. I knelt down next to him and placed a hand on his chest and just talked to him. Everything else just faded away and I focused solely on him and keeping him calm. The whole ambulance ride, waiting for the doctor to see him, waiting for the test results I felt like I was just holding my breath. I was keeping busy by rubbing his legs and making jokes, anything to keep us all from dwelling on why we were there at the hospital. With each little movement and half smile from him I could feel the weight slowly lifting off of my chest. Like I said earlier, he’s okay and back to running through kids and making plays happen on the field. We are so incredibly blessed that this was our outcome.
A few days later, another parent from the team said they couldn’t believe how calm I was. Guess what? Looking back I can’t believe how calm I was! This experience was easily one of the most terrifying moments in my life and I will never forget the feeling I had seeing my son lying on that sopping wet field with fear in his eyes. What no one got to see was my breakdown after we got home and the sleepless night that I had as I checked on him a million times. No one knew that I couldn’t stop replaying the day’s events in my mind.
Guys, this parenting thing is hard and I am finding the only way to get through it is with a great support system and faith! I am so thankful for my husband who is always ready to spring into action, who can stay calm in a state of chaos, who can ground me when I’m getting carried away, and who has my back when I need it. I am so thankful for the recent “scares” we’ve had as they have strengthened my faith and helped me be in the moment with a calmer perspective. This doesn’t mean that I don’t get angry or irrational or even become a skeptic at times. What it means is that I am starting to be able to talk myself down and look back on past experiences and solidify my faith a bit more. I know not everything is always going to work out, BUT I do think with enough love, support, determination, and FAITH we can deal with whatever comes our way.
*Photos courtesy of my dear friend, Andrea.