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This is NOT a love letter, Nashville.

Hey, Nashville,

What’s up? Listen, I tried. Like, I really, REALLY tried to find all of the great things about you. My list is short though. My list of things that made me not want to return is so much longer. Honestly, it pains me to write that. I promise I really wanted to love you. I’d like to say it’s not you, it’s me, but I’d be lying to you, and I just don’t want to lie to you.

 

Honestly, I am pretty easy to please. I’ve traveled a lot – and I‘ve had some not so great moments during my travels – BUT never have I had a shitty time all around like I did with you. I’m sorry. That was harsh. There were some pretty good things about you, I guess. Maybe I should start there? So here it goes.

What I like about you…

*Sun Diner – The breakfast was GREAT, the waitresses were friendly, and the atmosphere was AWESOME! If you go, try their Giddy Up Ketchup on the Chef Thomas’ Hash Brown, the Spicy Pecan Breakfast Syrup with the pancakes or waffles, and the Green Sauce on the eggs!

*Opryland Resort and Convention Center – It is well worth the trip (about a 20-25 minute drive from Downtown Nashville) for some peace, quiet, and indoor beauty! My favorite part about the entire trip was 100% the Spicy Peach drink that I got at The Falls Bar & Lounge. Sitting by the waterfall sipping on that ray of sunshine just made everything that much better. The small shops, the dining, and the views are nothing short of amazing. It would be a vacation all in itself to stay there.

*Johnny Cash Museum – Guys, yes, it is small, but it is PACKED with so much! I promise it is worth it. I loved seeing his life laid out in front of me, reading handwritten letters, seeing actual articles of clothing that he wore, and items he owned. The last section got me, like really got me, tears and all. If you are there you should really go through.

*Bakersfield Nashville – GET THE GUAC! Seriously, get it. The most delicious guacamole I have EVER had. The tacos are pretty badass too.

*The Legendairy Milkshake Bar – Mmmmmmm……After our first full non-successful day there we decided to try to redeem it with one of these babies. Instead of spending any more time in public we decided to get it to go…and what a reward that was! The little guys are pricey, but I’d definitely get another. We had the Rolling in the Cookie Dough and it was perfection.

*Country Music Hall of Fame Museum – Pretty interesting. My favorite part of the whole museum was Elvis Presley’s 1960 Cadillac. THERE WAS A TV AND A PHONE IN IT! (Mind blown!)

There were some things outside of what I named that were on the good side…We had one of the cutest VRBO lofts you offer on 2nd Avenue, which I highly recommend EVEN IF I don’t recommend a trip to Nashville. Got to give credit where credit is due, right? The weather was really nice (We arrived on May 4th). Our first night it rained, but after that it was rather beautiful. We used Uber a few times and one of the times, coming back from Opryland, we had a very interesting Uber driver…lots of singing and car dancing. The few live bands/singers we were able to see were amazing. THAT is what I was expecting Nashville to be like.

What I don’t like about you…

I’ll keep this short because let’s be honest, my opinion doesn’t really matter much in the grand scheme of things. So, here it goes, I’m worried about you, Nashville. It’s like you are having an identity crisis. I get that. I have had a few of those myself. Stick to your roots though, please. It is almost as if you are trying to shake your crazy ex-girlfriend…country music. You seem to have a whole lot more club music wafting through the air than country music. Maybe I am way off base here, but I thought you were the HOME of country music? Don’t get me wrong. I can get down with some Lil Wayne, Post Malone, Kodak Black, anything really, but I wasn’t really expecting that from NASHVILLE! I really (REALLY) thought Nashville was the embodiment of country music. This one could be on me though. I could have totally misread you.

You know what else? Most of your “locals” or those that have found a home and work with you are rather rude. I can think of a handful of people who were actually decent to us. A HANDFUL. Most of the waiters or waitresses we came into contact with were just…BLAH. Not too friendly to say the absolute least. There was one waitress that was actually super sweet and really kind. We went to City Tap House to grab a quick bite and some happy hour margaritas. We ordered the Elote Street Corn Dip, one of their specialty chicken sandwiches, and a margherita pizza. The dip was SO good, the sandwich wasn’t bad, but they ran out of pizza dough and tried to pass off some strange concoction as the delicious looking pizza we had seen served the hour we waited (not kidding, we waited forever for our food)! Not cool, Guys. Anyway, we weren’t going to say a word because we really are pretty low key, but the waitress saw it and was quick to come to our defense. She took it away and went straight back to the kitchen. She returned with another sandwich and took all of the food off of our bill. She was the real MVP that night! Maybe she could help you with some hospitality training in the future? I could try to get her name for you?

Anyway, to simplify the rest I’ll just say your food isn’t great, everything is overpriced (I really do mean everything), you are not well taken care of (so much of you is mistreated, dirty, and either overgrown or dead and disheveled), and everything about you just seemed OFF. Broadway has more of a college town feel with bouncers at every bar (lots of people are into that though). Maybe I am just too old for that. Your Farmers’ Market, which I was so looking forward to, was barely there. We went on Sunday and there were maybe four vendors set up outside and quite a few of the food vendors inside were closed as well. We did get our Jamaican fix with some patties that were really good though, so thanks for that.

Nashville, I’ve come to the conclusion that you just aren’t for me. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely tried to make the most of you, but we just don’t work together. Maybe it really is me and it’s not you. Maybe I just set my expectations way too high and they were incredibly unrealistic. I honestly don’t know, but what I do know is that “I ain’t coming back. I’ve already been there, done that and I’m done with you messing with my mind. The last time was the last time, baby.” (Courtesy of Luke Bryan)

 

Oh! One last thing. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt…

We never did get to the Ryman. I have heard great things about the tour, but I wasn’t down for any more disappointments so I opted to let that one go. We also never tried the Nashville staple that is known as hot chicken. Two reasons…the line was too long AND we were scared. Too many reviews about what that hot chicken can do to you that had me saying a polite no thank you.